It’s time again. My kids are packing up and moving on.
Sara. the baby.
She’s entering her junior year in high school. So technically, you could say she’s not moving on. But if you’re a mother … you know that’s not really true. She’s moved on in millions of tiny ways. Taking steps farther and farther away. She drives herself to and from school. She handles schedule, feeding and friendships. She’s studying for the SAT, worrying about grades - planning for college. It’s just a matter of time.
And then there’s our middle daughter, Emily.
I’m actually pretty upset with her …
because she settled in so nicely at home this summer. I got used to seeing the light on in her room. I’m accustomed to hearing her sing and laugh and fill our house with all kinds of ridiculousness. But she’s packing up and moving to start her junior year in college. There will be no need to buy her favorites at the grocery store. To ask her to turn down the Disney channel. Gosh Emily.
And then there’s Will 3 … words can’t say. how. much. I. miss. him.
He is our oldest and hasn’t been home one day this whole summer. Sure, he’s 23 years old. But since he’s in graduate school – I still expect him to come strolling in the door. Especially in the summer. I kept thinking that we’d see him on our family vacation at the Frio this year, camera in hand. I wondered if he’d just show up late one night, unexpected. But he didn’t. Because, as my husband likes to remind me, he’s independent – and that’s a good thing. But it doesn’t keep me from missing him.
I think the thing is … I’m terribly, terribly homesick.
For the way things used to be.
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I know you might be thinking homesick isn’t the right term, but check out this article and let me know what you’re homesick about …
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As I read this article, I thought about the hardest year I’ve had. It was the summer of 2001, May and my oldest was getting married and my youngest was going off to Lincoln Christian College.(Four and half hours away from our home at the time) might as well been another country it was in IL and not a fun drive (very flat and boring lots of corn fields) or desired place to be. But we gave our first one away to a wonderful christian young man she had meet at Southwest Baptist college in Bolivar, Mo. (Another poe dunk town) But a true good ole’ boy! Than prepared the gathering of college/dorm life stuff. (More than I care to remember) And come the middle of Aug. hauled her off with all that stuff to no where land. I think I cried more that year than all my crys put together but isn’t that how it was suppose to be? You raised them to fly, to be independant! But you are at home with the empty nest! The first year was tough but thankfully, I stayed in love with the man I married (date nights and sailing adventure without the girls) and whole new doors and dates opened for us. So now would I go back, NO not one minute (O.K. maybe a little as I read about you’re kiddos) but because that is the Lord plan, you let them go. Sure don’t wan’t to go through that pain again! But thanks for the look back, but forward I turn to playing with grandkids and living/loving every visits!!!!
Thanks for allowing me to share and taking a look back!
Susie
I could have written this post!
My oldest just moved on to his 2nd year of college (happily). My girls are both in high school…one a senior (oh boy) and the youngest a sophomore!
I love knowing that I’ve been a part of the foundation that keeps them grounded. But as a mama?? I’m homesick too! I totally realize every moment is one step closer to them being G O N E !!
I recognize….this is what I’ve worked for. To create responsible and awesome adults that go out and conquer the world!! But darn it…..I want to keep em around a bit more! I really LIKE em!!
:)
… love what you all have written. True tales from a mother’s heart.