This week, I made a difficult decision. (It’s work related.)
It was a decision that had Robin’s jaw on the floor. Robin is my Warrenton-road-trip buddy. The enchilada queen (drops by the most fabulous enchiladas on the planet in a big 9 x 12 unexpectedly ~ and just when I need it most). The friend that knows the most about my heart. But this shocked her.
Robin: Whaaaa? We just talked about all this driving to Warrenton. Remember, it was you needing a good attitude and being thankful.
Me: Yes. I know. But I prayed about this. I sat with it. And then the fire got too quiet and I realized I wasn’t being led by peace.
Robin: Fire? What fire?
She just looked at me, curious, and waited as I explained what I meant by ‘the fire’ and the process that led to the surprising decision. The process of following peace.
See, there are times in life when everything looks as if it should be completely wonderful. When all the circumstances stack up to fabulous. From the outside in ~ it’s a yes, yes, yes.
But from the inside out ~ you feel roughed up, off balance, out of whack. And then you realize, the fire is too quiet. (Please make the jump and read Donald Miller’s post: How Should We Use Intuition in Decision Making? I promise this post and word picture help you better understand intuition and decision making. And it will explain what I mean by ‘the fire.’)
That’s where I found myself. And Miller’s post and visual gave confirmation to the fact that I wasn’t just struggling for a good attitude and gratitude ~ I was struggling because I wasn’t being led by peace.
I wasn’t at peace because God was ready to change my landscape. Move me around.
Of course, the problem was ~ I liked the landscape. It was pleasant. And fun.
But increasingly, I wasn’t at peace. I was roughed up, off balance, out of whack.
And it seemed everywhere I turned, there was a verse about peace. And then the story. Donald’s post pushed me over the edge. The picture made me realize standing in a place outside of God’s peace is dangerous.
I know this might bring up more questions than answers ~ especially if you’re in a place of trying to determine what to do in a situation. I wish I could just tell you the difference between knowing when to stay in there and fight out the fire or realizing the need to get out before things get ‘too quiet.’ I’d really love to fill in the blank for you. But of course, I can’t. You’ll have to figure out the fire yourself. Just you and God.
It’s not necessarily easy. Or fun. But I can tell you with all certainty ~ it’s much better being on this side of the struggle. Even though I don’t have all the answers I’d like ~ and even though I don’t really understand.
But one thing I do know … when you are led by peace ~ you go out in joy.
Thankful today the process of peace. And for the God that gently took my hand and led me out in joy.
And hey, if you’d like to keep in touch, read up about the ‘Good News’ Newsletter every Friday.